I went to Haiti in May. I went because I wanted serve, I wanted to be the hands and feet of Jesus to my brothers and sisters who were suffering from the affects of the earthquake in January.
This was not my first trip to Haiti. I went in 2002. I remember the poverty and the spiritual warfare I had experienced then.
The earthquake has made things so much worse for the Haitians. Despite the enormous amount of UN presence throughout Port a Prince, relief is not getting to everyone.
I went with a team of 20 people from the states. We focused on one particular tent city. We went every day to this dirt plot of land with make shift homes made from sticks, sheets, table cloths, and curtains. The rainy season had started and the homes and any belongings would get wet daily.
Our group played with the children, soccer, bubbles and a puppet show. We went house to house listening to heart wrenching stories of what happened during the earthquake. The pain and the loss were overwhelming.
Day after day we went and loved, and we received love in return.
The end of our week, after a long drive to our ministry destination I needed to use the bathroom. Across the street from the tent city was a church with a bathroom. A squatty potty. An outhouse with a cement block with a hole in the middle.
One of the staff, Christiana and I went across the street to use the facilities. I went in first. While inside Christiana said the Pastor wanted to come and clean the bathroom before I went in, so I came out. He came running from the church building with a bottle of cleaning solution. He went in and poured the solution over the cement block. We thanked Him and off he went. As I went in I could smell the difference, the outhouse had a fresh smell.
I was a bit overwhelmed. The Pastor washed the toilet for us. We came from the US to serve him and his community and this Haitian pastor just washed the toilet for us.
I felt like Jesus had just washed our feet.
Jesus served the disciples by washing their feet.
This was something only a slave or servant would have done in His day, certainly not a Jew and especially not a Rabbi. But Jesus humbled Himself as a servant, out of love and washed their feet.
What an example of love. I cannot tell you how this ministered to me and still does.
This pastor humbled himself and out of love washed the toilet for us.
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not boast
It does not envy
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrong
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
I have a lot to learn from our Haitian pastor, how to love by serving, even if it means cleaning somebody’s toilet.
Oops - I forgot to post yesterday the end of the series on healing from Jenny Rain Schmitz! Sorry about that - but hope you have time to read it this weekend - it's a good one!
I grew up in a household where there were three unspoken rules:
Don’t talk Don’t feel Don’t ask for help
Now I say this not to blame my parents.
One, because they read my blog daily – hi mom and dad! But even if they were not regular readers, I do not say this to “blame” or “accuse” – as that does not help anyone’s healing process.
Two, my parents had been raised with similar unspoken rules. Often, no matter how hard we try to create a different environment than the one we were raised in… we end up replicating it anyway.
In many ways, my parents were maturing even as I was.
They were searching, growing, and discovering their own identities. Some of the unintended fallout from their search was my developing heart and spirit.
There were days when I felt like the invisible kid.
I’d be in a room, but not of it. Disconnected. Floating. Watching everything around me, but not able to join in.
There were days I had to remind myself:
I am here. I exist. I am alive. I am a part of things, even if it does not feel like it.
I grew up clothed in layers of shame, so I hid.
Guilt about what I did turned into shame about who I was. At my core, I felt that I was filled with rottenness.
Shame-based parenting and schooling was the norm for the seventies and eighties when I was growing up, thanks to Dr. Spock and other parenting geniuses. A’hem.
My parents were disciplined like this…
What is wrong with YOU?
Instead of like this…
What you DID was wrong.
If your parents confer upon you a shame-based identity (which my grandparents did with my parents) it carries through the generations because you parent from who you ARE, not just what you SAY to your kids.
So I inherited some of this left-over yuk from their upbringing.
As a result, I carried some of this shame with me as I began to develop into a relationship with God.
Many of the messages about myself from my pre-regenerated nature became mixed in with who I was becoming in relationship with Christ, so my mind was an amalgamation of half-truths like this:
I have no value
Instead of: I have so much value that God has sent His son to die for me and collect me to His heart.
I am defective
Instead of: I am living disconnected from God. The good news is, however, God has sent a way for me to be reconnected to Him in Christ.
No one sees me because I am not worthy
Instead of: God sees me because I am priceless to Him.
The most difficult mind-warp that I had to overcome was the following message:
What is wrong with me?
It was difficult to conquer that belief system because part of it was actually true! See without Christ, there truly WAS something wrong with me. I was living disconnected from God. Dead in my unredeemed nature.
THAT is what was wrong with me, but the good news is… it is FIXABLE!
Once I made the choice to enter into a life-sustaining relationship with God through Christ, the beautiful new truth about my identity is this:
There is now NOTHING wrong with my soul. There is therefore no condemnation for those who live in Christ! I am redeemed, Christ’s own, bought with His blood, purchased by His sacrifice. I am holy because I live in Christ and in Christ all things are made perfect, set apart, holy!
Wow… freeing!
Except, that second part of the message somehow got lost in translation.
I had a broken God-concept, so I had a broken me-concept.
Until I repaired my concept of God, I could not heal.
Everything flows from our God concept. Who we believe God to be is how we will reflect Him. What we believe about His character, His nature, His ways is how we will respond to Him.
If we believe He will hit us with a two-by-four when we mess up – we will spend our lives hiding or ducking, or both.
If we believe that He can’t be trusted with our hearts-hurts – we will not share our deepest pain.
If we believe that He does not give us good, or that His nature is not good – we will not reveal our deepest desires and dreams to Him.
The debilitating result of all of that is that we often hide these things from ourselves too. Or deny them. Or ignore them, so we never fully become who God has intended us to be.
That is what I did for over three decades.
I pulled out and dusted off my Princess Behind the Mask study last night.
It is a bible study I wrote in 2003 that chronicles the journey of God revealing to me who He is and who I was becoming in Him. It was the first step of my healing journey. As I read, I laughed, cried, and rejoiced. I saw how far God has brought me, and how there are areas I still struggle with. I remembered the growth in my family – how God has transformed my relationships with my parents.
It was hard to read about the journey… but important… because by the grace of God, it was my journey.
You have a journey too. It is an important journey. Our journeys are all unique and individual because they reflect the relationship we have with God.
I want to encourage you as you plod along your healing journey to look for God in the dark places. He is there. Reach out for Him in the midnight hour when you feel all is lost, He will connect with you.
He might connect with you through a community like Beauty for Ashes - through people who have been on the healing journey and found God in some of the darkest places of our lives. There is a great deal of healing that begins in the simple act of sharing with someone else.
In any case, please know that we are here and would love to pray for you and with you, wherever you happen to be on the path. (By the way, you can find more of Jenny's encouraging blogposts here.)
This week, we are continuing a series on healing from Jenny Rain Schmitz. You can find her very insightful blog here.
Developing trust in God has been a huge part of my healing journey.
The scriptures say,
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3.5-6
Um, hmm. Alrighty then… well, that is a wonderful sentiment IF you have any concept of what it means to live from your heart. Unfortunately, I had so mastered the art of existing comfortably numb, I had checked out of my heart’s rhythms in about 1986.
I did not know how to trust “with all of my heart.” I did not even know how to trust with “all of my mind!”
So God began to teach me through every-day experiences where He gently revealed to me how little I really trusted Him.
In early 2003 I was struggling to find direction and my heart was aching for a touch from God.
As life often requires, though we ache, we must plod along through our days nonplussed.
I was training that day at a new location that I had never been to and when I called for directions, the project assistant reiterated the importance of “waiting to turn until I had reached the second Ronald Reagan Airport exit off of 395, not the first.”
I questioned whether or not such an exit actually existed because I traveled 395 daily.
Driving over the 395 overpass I came upon a Ronald Reagan Airport exit and very fiber of my being stretched towards the off-ramp.
“Is this the first or the second exit? What if there is no second exit? I’ve never seen a second exit, and this one seems to point in the direction I need to go. Why not just take this one!” I fought.
“Maybe the first exit was behind me and this really is the second one. If I don’t take it I’ll be stuck in traffic and late to my training session!” It is a miracle I did not take the exit.
I continued my drive, knuckles clenched around the steering wheel, shoulders stiffening into brick soldiers from the tension of the wait. I internally berated myself because I was sure I had missed my exit and my car tires turned into sticky molasses as time dripped on like a leaky pipe.
“Where was my exit!?”
The directionally challenged youngster on the phone call who had shared her advice to “wait for the second exit” was obviously mistaken so then she became the target of my anger. My stomach tied into monkey-bread knots and the stress constricted my failing eyesight.
395 unrolled itself like a Christmas ribbon across a living-room floor. I inched along slower than a centipede on a ninety-degree day.
There was NO second exit.
Just as my vice-grip was about to morph the steering-wheel into a second apendage, I glimpsed an exit sign.
The promised second exit was in view!
The sign had been hidden around the corner I had just tipped around on the left two of my car wheels (My car was straining with me, you see, as it was also convinced there was no second exit).
Like a chorus of angels the heavens opened up in song.
The second exit was there.
Though I could not yet fully see it, the exit had been there all along… around the corner.
All I had needed to do was keep driving and be patient until I reached it and learn to trust in the God who can see around every corner and has a plan for every exit.
Thanks for reading our blog this week and the posts we have been re-running from Jenny Rain Schmitz. Are you in a season of trusting that He can see around every corner, that He has a plan for every exit? We certainly are ... fee free to enter a comment or send us an email, and we can be praying for each other!
This week we are sharing some posts from Jenny Rain Schmitz - I loved these and I think you will too...
No no no… I did not say I AM sad.
I said, I HAVE sad.
Sad is also known as Social Anxiety Disorder and I have it.
Social anxiety disorder (SAD, SAnD) (DSM-IV 300.23), also sometimes called social phobia (SP), can be specific or generalized. Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, chronic fear of being judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by one’s own actions. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. While the fear of social interaction may be recognized by the person as excessive or unreasonable, overcoming it can be quite difficult. About 13.3% of the general population may meet criteria for social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.
Four years ago in the plethora of diagnoses my shrink labeled me with, SAD was in the mix.
Rather than debilitating me with an unneccesary label, understanding that SAD was a frequent visitor in my spectrum of anxiety struggles has helped me stop judging myself so harshly when I fail to meet my own criteria for a “successful social interaction.”
I have the “generalized” brand of SAD – which is good. And it takes more than a diagnosis or challenge to send me running for the hills, which is even better! Throughout the years I have intentionally placed myself into “learning situations” that have forced me to develop coping mechanisms to survive and succeed in social interactions.
When I was younger SAD was debilitating.
I was painfully awkward with girlfriends and excruciatingly clumsy with boys. In my attempts to fit in, my gangly actions caused me to stick out and get noticed more than accepted.
Childhood was painful for me.
If a friend “decided” they were mad at me I would literally get sick. On the spot. Sometimes on them.
It was awful.
Countless shrinks, wise family members, and friends attempted to counsel me on the fact that “people just get mad sometimes,” and not to get so upset about it, but my body continued to have a visceral reaction to anything resembling judgement from someone else.
Needless to say, as a kid and into my early adult years, I was also highly sensitive and would shut down at even the slightest hint of criticism.
I had SAD but did not know it so I had no coping skills.
For me, SAD manifests itself as shyness in social situations which often confuses people.
“I would have never guessed you were shy, you seem so outgoing when you train!”
“Through your writing it seems like you are more extraverted!”
Like I said, I have trained myself to overcome SAD so that it does not continue to debilitate me.
In late 1996 after four years in corporate training, I realized that unless I stepped beyond my fear or being around a large room of people, speaking, and interacting with them, I would not make it very far in business.
So I took a decisive action.
Because of my fear of training people – I stepped into training.
That is how I was as a younger lass with my fears – completely unforgiving and intolerant of anything that held me back. I tended to steamroll my fears and weaknesses until they ceased to exist.
With this particular fear and anxiety around people, it worked!
But there are still times when social situations are tough for me.
I detest get togethers at houses – especially when it is a bunch of people I don’t know.
Being out in a new location with new people can be overwhelming for me at times. New place. New people. It is like massive over-stimulation to my brain. The little gerbils in my brain do not do overstimulation well.
I am a chronic-blusher. When I am one-on-one with others chatting, my face will randomly blush for no reason at all. It’s so embarrassing!
If you ask me to be in an arena full of people where I have to find my way to my seat – I hate it. This is why I work the tech booth at church… so I can sneak in the back door, avoid the crowds, and sit in my same seat every week cocooned by the walls of the booth. It’s safe, manageable, puts me in the middle of the action without the crush of a bunch of people around me.
So my SAD still pops up, but I have learned to manage it.
So why do I share this?
Because there are things that we all deal with about ourselves and our lives here on earth that can debilitate us, control us, and hinder the stretch we have in our arms if we choose to allow them to. Things such as…
Shame
Fear
Anxieties and phobias
Our past
Our present
Our future
People
Money
Time
Religion
{insert your problem-of-choice here}
These “issues” may be as real as the summer sunshine and valid enough to be considered a DSM-IV diagnosable disease.
I get that.
I am not saying, “deny that you have any areas of challenge in your life.”
Nope. Cuz there is a diagnosis for denial too – it’s called the Polyanna Principle and it even has its own page in the highly-scholarly resource “Wikipedia” (ahem… cough cough).
I am also not saying over-spiritualize your challenge areas…
“Well… the good Lord knew what He was doing when He made me… this is just my cross to bear I guess!”
Please don’t do that.
Over-spiritualization makes me batty.
What I am saying is this…
Be honest with yourself about your areas of challenge.
Take responsibility for those areas.
Be unashamedly honest with friends about these challenge areas so they can pray for you.
Do what you can to eliminate these areas, and if you cannot eliminate, learn coping mechanisms (even Jacob walked with a limp and Paul had a thorn in his side… there are some parts of our personality that may never change)
Always… always… always stay in conversation with your Creator about these limitations and ask Him to intercede and be consistently present when one of these challenge areas threatens to take you down. He is faithful, He is good, and He can be trusted… with all of who you are… even the parts you don’t like.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139.15-16
Thanks for coming by this week’s series on healing from Jenny Rain Schmitz. You can find more of her encouraging posts here. And if you are in the middle of a healing journey, please let me know how we can pray for you!
Sometimes you run across a blog that says it better than you could have ever hoped to say it. That's how I felt when I ran across Jenny Rain Schmitz's story and the following blog (which is the beginning of a series that she is graciously letting us re-post here). Over the next few days, I hope these speak to your heart the way they did mine - and I encourage you to comment below or email as God leads you.
Behold, I am going to send an angel before you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place which I have prepared. Exodus 23:20
There is a road to health, and God knows the way.
I have had many healing seasons in my life. Times where I have tried to grab away the reins of control to steer the wild stallion along bumpy terrain. Curling the leather reins around my tiny hands I lean back against the majestic black monster in futile attempts to steer it.
Most times the unruly beast throws his head back, mounts up on its paunches and sends me airborne to land in the dusty earth.
Healing does not come at my command.
I do not know the way.
Every attempt I make to guide myself leaves me bruised and motionless.
You shall serve the Lord your God, and He shall bless your bread and your water, and I will remove the sickness from your midst. Exodus 23.26
About five years ago, God made it very clear to me that I could not control my healing.
The cuts that had been inflicted upon my heart by others and myself were incurable by human hands.
Like a cancer that was ravaging away my organs, dysfunction had become my norm and defense mechanisms were maintaining its stronghold over my life.
The areas of sickness cast a horizonless shadow over my days and every attempt to peel away the darkness only revealed layers of thunderclouds.
My heart was being cloaked from the danger of the massive storm because I lived in darkness. But it was the storm surge that I needed to find my wings.
I will make your enemies turn their backs to you… I will drive out the -ites (all of them!)… I will not drive them out before you in a single year, that the land may become desolate and the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. I will drive them out little by little until you become fruitful and take possession of the land. Exodus 23.28-30
Because darkness covered so many different areas of my life, I did not know how to live in the light.
God in His infinite grace knew this. He knew that to take me from unhealthy to healthy in a single swoop of His hand would not be effective. I had not yet learned how to live in a functional environment. I had no skills.
Sending me into the promised land without tools would only leave me hungry and captive again.
I needed to learn how to become healthy… step by little step… and I needed someone to teach me how to live functionally.
I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand, and you will drive them out before you. Exodus 23.33
The problems I had were larger than me and I needed a master surgeon to remove the internal virus from my soul.
I had a role in my healing, but it was not to be the Operator.
Rather, God was calling me to be the co-operator.
My role was to partner with Him. As God brought me different areas of un-healing, I was to submit to His leading on that particular area of healing, not rush head-long into a different path.
If God said, “We need to work on how you respond in conflict,” then I would surrender to His leading as He took me through the “practice-field” of the HITtite invaders.
If God said, “Your self-esteem and self-worth are severely damaged so you are struggling with feeling competent,” then I would bring my tools to fight the army of the CANnanites.
If God said, “You have a pauper mentality. You live in the midst of abundance and you are still not satisfied, we need to work on your perceptions,” then I would cooperate as He brought the HAVE-not-ites for me to destroy.
In each instance, God was the actor, I was the responder.
Ten years later, I can tell you that God’s healing plan works.
Maybe you are facing a healing season that looks as if it will defeat you.
This week I will be talking about some areas of healing God has taken me through. Though the journey has not always been fun, it has been worth it.
Your season will look different from mine, but I do know one thing….
God knows the plans he has for you [insert your name here]. They are plans for your welfare and not for your destruction. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you [insert your name here] a hope and a future.
You can find more of Jenny's encouraging posts here. I pray that something here on our site or on Jenny's will encourage, minister, inspire, and challenge you to reach out toward your Heavenly Father -- He loves you and knows better than anyone how to heal your heart. I'd love to pray for you this week as we journey together - and covet your prayers for Beauty for Ashes as well!
Did you experience some disappointments this month? A relationship gone sour? Dreams that seem to be dying a slow death? Did someone’s words rub you the wrong way? Did you find yourself losing your cool and being frustrated by your own shortcomings?
For me, it was all of these things. And that’s just the last 7 days.
As I surfed around the internet and read the accounts of my friends and other bloggers – clearly I’m not alone. It seems like a lot of our “triggers” get pulled on a regular basis. My record at handling them was spotty, at best. How about you?
Here are a few truths I found helpful along the way:
1. If something gets under my skin, offends me, or sends me into a critical mode – the first place to look is not the other person. It’s ME. Richard Rohr sent out an insightful devotion the other day in which he said, “In the spiritual, your enemies are your best friends - that's why Jesus says to love them. Until you allow the "not-me" to enter your world, you'll never be able to face your sin, your dark side, nor will you love others at any deep level. People who turn you off, people you're afraid of, have a message for you. We reject and hate our own faults in others, for some strange reason... so you should put up your antennae: they're triggering something within you—about you. You need them.”
Great word – if only I had remembered it in the moment when someone turned me off with their words and language. It wasn’t until the situation blew up that I sat down and asked God: OK, so what is it about what they said or how they said it that triggered this reaction in me?
I read a comment on a friend’s Facebook wall today about this: “The triggers, while miserable, are a door to our woundedness…doors He allows to be opened, therefore irritating the hell out of us.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the pun. How true!
2. It has also helped me to remember that not only do I not know the stresses other people are under – but ALL of us are engaged in spiritual battle. All the time. Sometimes I feel like I need to stamp it on my forehead or post it on every wall in my house so that I remember this truth. Don’t lose sight of the big picture, the larger context of every little skirmish. We have an enemy that is always looking to bring us down. I don’t know about you, but for me, it becomes a little easier to overlook many things when I get this perspective adjustment.
3. I choose to believe God when He said that EVERYTHING works together for good in my life (Rom. 8:28-29)… every disappointment, every unmet expectation, my less than stellar relationship skills, frustrating circumstances, the latest health crisis, even all my sins and failures. He is weaving it all into the masterpiece He calls “you” and “me” – using every thread to bring us into a closer, more intimate relationship, to strengthen our character, to increase our capacity for true joy and to prepare us for the future He has planned.
God is the operator in all this. We are the co-operators.
So today, instead of denying, running or hiding from the pain – I’ll just say this: “Jesus, please keep on irritating the hell out of me. Please.”
Here are a couple of blogs that really spoke to me this past week – if you are interested in reading more, check them out: from Chad Estes (Heart on the Line) And this one from Jenny Rain (The Partnership of Healing)– this gal is wonderful and I love what God has done in her life. We’re hoping to re-post several of her blogs from last week on healing.
STORIES OF GOD’S GLORY
Can you imagine what you would do if you were given this situation? You cannot have children naturally, but you are blessed to have invitro work? You want one more child and the doctor tells you that you are carrying triplets. Then the hammer falls and you find out that you have a brain tumor and that your body can only carry two of the babies. What do you do?
Meet Michelle and enjoy her story of healing and trust in God.
God came to Michelle in a dream when she was 13 and told her that she would have to make a choice about one child. She had no idea what that meant, but had put her full trust in the Lord to cover her no matter what. She found the love of her earthly life in Michael and they were married. After 6 years of trying to start the family that they had always dreamed of, they were told that they needed to start their family with the help of invitro. Michelle had dreams of a tribe once a month of God’s children.
Two wonderful daughters were born and thrived. There was love and laughter in the house and the family thrived as they shared their testimony with all that they touched. Their dream was for one more child to love and be graced with. Six more tries followed with nothing but disappointment and pain. They questioned our Father as to what was His plan for them and why did the house feel like it was missing something.
One last try, and the family and her community of friends rejoiced when Michelle found out that she was pregnant and their prayers had been answered. All of their friends came together and cried and smiled…then the headaches began. Every day, we all checked in and helped.
The Doctor did a sonogram and found out that triplets were on the way and that Michelle had a brain tumor. She was told that she could only carry 2 of the babies and her dream came back to her. She made the choice after days of community prayer to keep all of the children that God had blessed her with. The Doctors told her that if they did surgery on the brain tumor and took all of it out, that she may be paralyzed for life.
Her direction from God was to trust Him. She had the surgery and part of the tumor was left so that there was no danger of loss of her body. The triplets were born and continue to thrive. The remaining part of the tumor has not grown. Michelle’s community continues to praise the Lord and His ability to heal.
Her dream is join in with Beauty for Ashes and share her journey in a positive way for women who need healing with health issues and growing the family. Her love is for the community that is so important to healing and growth with anything that life puts in our path.
Do you have a story to share about His healing or the trust of people in your life to open up and share their pain with community and the Lord? It is all about trust in His plan for us and how we share our testimonies.
Thank you Michelle for sharing and being the beautiful daughter of God!!! By the way, the tumor has not grown and the community is committed to daily prayer one day at a time, but the triplets have and are getting ready to celebrate two years of love.
Posted in Forgiveness by Beauty for Ashes on 7/21/2010
STORIES OF GOD’S GLORY!
In this time of challenges at home, the economy, and overseas, people are looking closer to home, and we are reaching out for help from any place we can, a miracle is taking place here on Earth. Look to Haiti, where people are getting closer to God on a daily basis. Look at Swaziland, where there is a potential control for AIDS. Look to the Gulf and see that the cap may have stopped the flow of oil.
We are challenged to look to those who we meet on a daily basis to see the power and glory of our Abba Father’s love. Where do I look, who do I talk to, how do I listen, how do I heal and help others to do the same? Many of us are asking the same questions, I have been asking for years.
Then God brought me many daughters of God into my path this week as heroines to us all. They are examples of pure and trusting love and devotion. They are our examples of just how God is our healer when we let Him into our lives
.
Meet Alice, who I met in the Home Depot one day. Yes the Abba is all about self improvement! She found herself pregnant at the age of 17; she was married to an abusive husband and mother at the age of 18. She spent 5 years protecting her children, 4 in 5 years, and surviving nightly beatings that took away the use of her left arm. She was in fear of her life if she left this man. Her mother was old fashioned and would not give her the option of leaving the marriage, until that fateful night.
Alice was to meet her family for dinner and did not show up. They waited until the following morning before the family went to the apartment to check on her. What they found was Alice covered in blood in a cold bathtub with the children huddled around the tub crying.
The female officer who responded to the call found a safe home for Alice and the children. The husband was arrested for attempted murder. Her mother cried and found our Abba Father that night.
Alice got her divorce with some shame of failure, was baptized in the love of the Lord, and the physical pain stopped. The emotional wounds, well, she was told to put them aside and forget. Her pain festered; her ability to forgive was shaken as well as her ability to reach out. She cried every night for a friend, a Father, who would hear her cry as music to their ears and love unconditionally.
She went on day by day, hoping, she fell in love with another abusive man and they were engaged to be married. That very night God came to Alice in a dream. He showed her the wedding, the man without a face and the promise of true healing. She cancelled the engagement and went to her first church picnic.
There was the man in her dream. A Christian man who loved the fact that she and the family was a six pack minus one. They fell in love. He earned the respect of all of the children, and put the family’s needs in perspective with God’s plan. He won her heart and the right to finish the six pack of the sweet tea of His love. No more shame in failure for this daughter!
That was 16 years ago and the family healing continues. Alice, who has no formal training in ministry, is known as Pastor Alice at work for all of the young women. The entire family has taken ownership of their lives and happiness. Her dream is to form retreats for poor women and share her testimony with all who she meets.
We would love to hear your testimonies of God’s glory. With your permission, we would love to share them as this ministry and community grows according to His vision. No worries about how to write it let the Lord speak thru you. Community is all about truth and love.
Next week, how God showed one woman how He loves do over’s with our lives as we grow!
Blessings to all as He takes away our ashes and fills us all with beauty and joy!
Posted in General Posts by Beauty for Ashes on 7/19/2010
Wow...How does one say goodbye? It's never easy, nor an action that anyone actually likes or enjoys.
However, I've found in my 27 years that what seem to be the best decisions in life, are often times
the most diffcult ones to make. It seems that when God is preparing us for a specific door to open,
He often asks whether we're willing to surrender the current one that we're walking through, for
many different reasons.
"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24
As I embark upon transitioning from leaving Beauty For Ashes to marriage, I find myself in this place...torn
between grief and joy. I'm left in awe from the amazing things God has done through our ministry team, weekend retreats, and the transformation in the lives of women across the world who have received lasting healing and restoration (including myself). I'm also filled with sadness, that comes with the territory of leaving behind all this beauty. I know that He has even greater purposes for the future, and I'm left
in anticipation of this being just the beginning, for both Beauty For Ashes, and my own next steps.
The past few months I've prayed, questioned, and processed many things regarding covenant relationships
and ministry, and what this looks like together. Though I do not think there is one black and white answer,
nor do I think it looks the same for all people, I have come to a crossroads. God has given me the most
amazing man in the world, and after 10 years of friendship, I've finally fallen in love with my best friend!
I could ignore this gift of relationship, and independently pursue God's Kingdom with this incredible team
of women on my own, or I could trust Him at a deeper level....asking Jesus to show me and my soon-to-be husband what He wants to paint on our blank canvas, as a team, in partnership together.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:8-10
I've chosen the latter.
To all women who've attended former retreats...
Thank you for being brave women, willing to be obedient in vulnerability and faith to pursue Jesus' heart of intimacy and healing at deep levels! Don't stop fighting the good fight! You're beautiful beyond measure!
To all future women who will attend...
Jesus knows who you are, even now. He knows you intimately, at the deepest places of your wounds, the lies you've heard and believed your whole life, and wants to set you free! Don't settle! He's waiting to offer you a great exchange, your ashes for HIS beauty, His heart, His Restoration. "When you seek Him, you will find Him, when you seek Him with all of your heart."
Beauty For Ashes team (Jodi, Joy, & Patti)...
You have forever left an imprint on my heart. It has been an honor to not just serve with you, but befriend you as sisters for life! You will forever be a part of me. Thank you is not enough. I love you beyond words.
"May the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you!" Psalm 67:1
You are eternally His Beloved!
His Daughter, Your Sister,
"Agape"
~Krystle Ann Longmire
STORIES OF GOD’S GLORY!